Scum Ball

I live, as do many of you, on a planet we call Earth.  Earth is a wonderful place to live.  However, when you think about it, it's a pretty weird place to live too.  Consider these few examples:

1.  Our planet's circumference at the equator is 24,901.55 miles and its' diameter is 7,899.8 miles...less if you measure through the poles as the Earth is not perfectly round.  These seem like big numbers but  how big is a mile really?  We've imagined a distance and assigned a number to it.  I think we can cross off distance as a universal truth.  Anyway, if you compare our planet to the "known" universe we're living on a tiny speck of rock that has a creamy molten center- kind of like lava cake but not as chocolatey.  The true size of the universe is something I've never been able to get my mind around.  Some people think the universe is shaped like a figure 8.  It just wraps around itself.  OK, what's outside this figure 8 then?  If you know, please tell me.  As an aside, Mel Brooks once said that 13 out of 19 people revolve around the sun.  Sounds reasonable. (1)

2.  The highest point on Earth is the top of Mt. Everest at 29,035 feet.  The lowest place on Earth is at the Dead Sea: 1,369 feet below sea level.  Human Beings don't do very well at these extremes though.  Generally, we thrive between sea level and 6-8,000 feet.  8,000 feet is only about 1 1/2 miles.  Think about what landmark is 1 1/2 miles from where you are at this moment.  For me, it's about as far as the nearest cheeseburger from McDonalds.  I could walk there in 20 minutes or so if I wasn't so lazy.  Our livable space then is shockingly thin...as thin as the skin on that sweet Walla Walla onion you're peeling to chop up for tonight's salsa. (2)

3.  We are surrounded by other living things we call "plants".  The tallest plant we have on this planet is a coastal redwood named The Mendocino in Ukiah, California.  It's 367.5 feet tall...a little bigger than a football field if you include the end zones.  The smallest plants in the world are Duckweeds.  They measure 300 by 600 micrometers and weigh only 150 micrograms.  They float on or just beneath the surface of fresh water ponds.  Put a lot of Duckweed plants together and you have what you might call scum.

4.  When you are in a passenger jet flying from SF to NYC what is your altitude?  Let's just say, on average, around 30,000 feet.  When you're that high and you look straight down what do you see?  You see varying shades of green and brown.  On a hazy day it looks kind of scummy and moldy.   People don't even look like ants from that height.  We're too small to see.

So here we are.  Tiny beings living on a scummy rock spinning around a giant white hot ball of flame.  Just saying...fellow scum people.

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(1)  From the recording:  The Two Thousand Year Old Man by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner

(2)  Fresh Salsa Recipe:  chop these ingredients to your size preference and combine in a large bowl:

One medium sized onion, two medium sized tomatoes, one bunch of cilantro, and 2-3 Serrano peppers. Don't bother cleaning out the seeds- you won't notice them.  Add a pinch of salt and lime juice to taste.  I usually use one lime.  That's it...delicious and spicy hot...scooped up with warmed tortilla chips...a taste you had long ago at your favorite Mexican oceanfront resort before you were afraid to travel there.  A small table on the sand at sunset, a canopy of palm fronds waving overhead in a gentle breeze, the pounding surf, a cold cerveza......perfect.

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